People's Worst Moments

"If you're gonna get mad at me every time I do something stupid, then I guess I'll just have to stop doing stupid things." -Homer Simpson

Do you ever find words, be they oral or written, coming out of your mouth - you don't really know where they're coming from, or they wouldn't be spoken/written by someone like you if you just sat and thought about them rationally for a moment or two first - and find you're regretting them the instant they are uttered? Perhaps just as bad, do you find yourself not saying or doing the things that a trusted friend or colleague would expect you to do? To the friend, the feeling of letdown or betrayal is the same whether these are sins of commission or omission on your part.

I had this very flaw in my own character brought to my attention just last night. I was reprimanded by a friend, someone who trusted me, and the thing is that I deserved every word of it.

She was right, and I was wrong - 100 percent.

I've said it before: I'm a work in progress. I still have a ways to go. And yesterday I learned that the distance I need to travel is still a long ways off. Sometimes, there is just no excuse that isn't a total cop-out; an all-out apology is necessary.

I doubt whether any of us wants to be defined by his or her worst moment. I hope that this friend will not remember by my careless actions or, rather, lack of positive actions, but instead by the good moments we have shared together.

Do you find yourself recalling someone's worst moment(s) when that person's name is mentioned, or you run into that person at the grocery store 15 years later, or whatever the case may be? I have realized that I still do, as much as I try to let go of negative experiences from the past. I felt that way not long ago when one of my seventh-grade tormentors, several years after the fact, made a friend request on Facebook.

Consider the Apostle Thomas, largely referred to as "doubting Thomas" by members of the Christian faith. He is someone who, I think rather unfairly, is certainly remembered by his worst moment. Nevertheless, a wise institute teacher once pointed out a much lesser-known reference to Thomas in the Gospel of John.

Jesus had just learned that Lazarus had died, and He was preparing to return to Judea to see His beloved friend. Concerned that the Jews had recently tried to stone the Savior, however, most of the Apostles warned Him against making the trip. That's when Thomas spoke up and said:

"Let us also go, that we may die with him" (John 11:16).

It sure sounds like Thomas isn't so "doubting" at this point, does it? Like Thomas, we all have our bad moments. Hopefully, they do not outshine the bad ones.

I suppose this is all just to say "thank you" to all of my family members and friends who love and support me in spite of my errors and mistakes, who give me second and third and fourth chances and are patient with me as I work my way through "this vale of tears" (Hymns, no. 116). I don't always do the right thing, but I hope that, on occasion, I can. I hope to return the favor to you.

More Thoughts on "The Kingdom of God or Nothing"

I was prepared to write some additional thoughts on my previous post, which was about the Proclamation on the Family, but then general conference weekend came. And on Saturday afternoon, Elder David A. Bednar of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles delivered the following talk, which is, I believe, one of the all-time greatest conference messages of our time:

It's a perfectly stated message, and it leaves no room for doubt or debate. He reaffirms the principles taught in the Proclamation and the Church's stance on marriage. Then, he goes even further, talking about the Plan of Salvation and its purpose; our roles in it as Father in Heaven's sons and daughters; and how Satan, the father of all lies, has been trying to disrupt that plan from the very beginning and has been trying to get us to misuse our bodies, as well as to seek out "counterfeit companionships" that will thwart that plan.

But you're a bigot and a hater, some will say (and some have said). Why do you seek to impose your religious beliefs on people who just want to marry the person they love?

The best way I can answer that question is with an additional thought that I had while listening to Elder Bednar's message: The plan, as its name implies, is the great Plan of Happiness. As Alma taught his son Corianton, "wickedness never was happiness" (Alma 41:10). Likewise, Mormon, observing the sorrowing of the Nephites of his day, recorded that "the Lord would not always suffer (his people) to take happiness in sin" (Mormon 2:13).

In other words, it is impossible to do something sinful, whatever that sin may be, and to be happy in the long run. By its very nature, sin is a temporary, empty, and "counterfeit" form of happiness. Thus, taking a stand for what always has been, is, and always will be right - eternal marriage between a man and a woman - is not an act of hate but, rather, an act of love for the eternal happiness and well-being of others.

Well, that's what I get out of it.

Finally, that all being said, I would like to reiterate something my stake president, Pres. Beard, shared with us in Sunday School during a recent ward conference. The entire focus of his hour of instruction was on those who deal with same-sex attraction and how we should treat these people. After all, they our in our neighborhoods and wards, some may be in our families, and others are in our schools or workplaces. As a theater person, I have many friends and associates who fall into this category.

The prevailing idea behind Pres. Beard's message was: compassion. We need to love those who struggle with this attraction - but that "love" or toleration is not to be confused with acceptance. If we see bullying going on, we need to stand up and put a stop to it. We need to fellowship these members and never shun or ignore them, for it is possible to live a chaste life and to be an active - and happy - member of the Church.