The Dangerous Lives of Shopping Carts

As a public service, and also because the Angry White Loner considers you to be a friend, he's here tonight to warn you of the dangers of shopping carts.

But shopping carts aren't dangerous, some of you, naively, might be inclined to say. Well, your opinion is duly noted. And you would be, of course, DEAD WRONG!

From an Ogden Regional Medical Center ad, I recently learned that over 47,000 people in the United States alone are injured by shopping carts each year. The AWL's personal encounters with shopping carts have also led him to both fear and respect the mighty shopping cart.

Incredible-but-True Shopping Cart Story #1: The AWL and Angry White Sister were once traveling out to Salt Lake City on the freeway at night when, out of nowhere, there was suddenly a shopping cart sitting on the road. AWS was *ahem* driving the car, though there really wasn't that much time to react to said shopping cart, which ended up leaving a sizeable dent in the front bumper of Angry White Dad's car.

AWD, as you might imagine, was rather upset by this turn of events. His Angry White Children, in case you wondered, were thankfully not injured.

Just the other day, in fact—this really happened—I had to swerve the Aluminum Falcon out of the way of a SOFA, also lying there on the road on I-15.

Incredible-but-True Shopping Cart Story #2: A friend of the Angry White Loner's, when he was younger and foolish, decided to hop into a shopping cart and took it for a ride down 1800 South in Bountiful. Those who live in or know Bountiful know that this is a rather steep hill and will have already correctly guessed that this was a very bad idea. The shopping cart won this battle with said friend, leaving him with horrendous injuries.

"Where will the shopping carts strike next?" is the question that, I'm sure, is now on everybody's lips.

The Turkey Trot

Not to toot my own horn or anything, but (honk! honk!) I participated in my first 5K race today.

It was also the Angry White Parents' and the Angry White Sister's first 5K. We did it together, and it turned out to be more fun and more worthwhile than I had imagined it would be. Kudos to my sister for convincing me to do it, 'cause I can be a tough nut to crack sometimes.

Our 3.1-mile race, the Family 5K (there was also a 1K race for kids and a 10K race for masochists/actual athletes), was really a race only in name, as together we walked the entire length. It was never about competition, just finishing. Soon after crossing the starting line, AWS and I realized that we were prepared to walk much faster than the parental units, so instead we slowed down to walk alongside them.

In the end, the Family 5K was more about the "family" part than about the "5K." After 66 minutes on the road, which included the Angry White Loner getting in "Biggest Loser" trainer mode on his mom and encouraging her to press forward during what was for her a grueling final mile, the four of us crossed the finish line together. For their age bracket, the parents did a great job.

Something else I really appreciated about this race was the sense of community involved in the whole process. Not only did we get to walk through the streets of our beloved hometown Bountiful, but all other race participants were nothing but polite and friendly to us, as many of them ended up passing us. In addition, complete strangers standing at mile markers or handing out water or just standing on street corners to watch cheered us on and offered encouragement along the way.

It was really a great way to spend a Thanksgiving morning, and I look forward to taking part again the future. The turkey, yams, pumpkin pie, etc. that followed were not too shabby, either.