Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Aspirations in the Clouds

"Aspirations in the clouds,
But your hopes go down the drain."
 -Howard Jones, "No One Is to Blame"

At times when the Angry White Loner is feeling a bit more melancholy than he normally does, he wonders whether one of the main purposes of his Church mission was to prepare him for rejection. One of the most eye-opening, heartbreaking, and frustrating parts of those two years was learning to deal with closed minds, hearts, and doors on a daily basis. Rejection took place, unfortunately, far more often than acceptance did.

The thing is, though he is used to it by now, rejection never gets any easier.

The AWL went to his weekly institute class tonight with the goal of reaching out and meeting at least a few new people. Maybe even a female or two. He said "hello" to three people he hadn't previously spoken to; all three were seemingly disinterested in talking to him. The girl he recently asked out, or tried to ask out, likewise, made eye contact with him once but otherwise pretended like he was not even there.

"People, you can never change the way they feel.
Better let them do just what they will, for they will."

 -George Michael, "Kissing a Fool"

It's not just in socializing or dating, or in attempting to do so. The world as a whole seems to be filled with rejections of one kind or another. Applying for jobs, for example.

So, the Angry White Loner poses the question: How do you deal with rejection?

Do you go out to a secluded spot and punch-dance until you can't punch-dance anymore, like Kevin Bacon in Footloose or Andy Samberg in Hot Rod? Do you kick the neighbor's cat? (Any cat will do, really.) Do you scream out all of your frustrations into a paper bag?

Is there even a healthy way to deal with it at all? Do you eventually reach the point at which you give up on trying to accomplish some things altogether?

I'm interested in finding out, 'cause I don't know. I really don't. I'm looking for ideas.

*Long pause*

*Crickets*

There is comfort in knowing, for example, that a day will come "when disappointment, grief, and fear are gone" (Hymn no. 124).

Until then, however, I'm trying to figure things out for myself, one closed mind, heart, and door at a time.

4 comments:

  1. I ask myself the same questions. If you ever find out, be sure to let me know.

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  2. I listen to Jason Mraz's sophomore release Mr. A-Z or his 2001 Live at Java Joe's album. Even just thinking about it is making me happy. Sometimes I don't even know I don't feel 100% until one of his songs randomly comes on. Writing helps too. When I have words.

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    Replies
    1. Music and writing help me, too. In fact, I have a whole playlist on my iPod that I call "Love Songs (with Arsenic Sauce)" to help me out when I'm feeling this way. Anyway, thanks for the recommendation.

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